Restraining Order
by Miki-chan13
Summary: "I'm just here for fun," the bald man said, as though he was saying that the sky was blue or the grass was green. Hisoka was intrigued.


When Hisoka first saw the bald man with the strangely unremarkable face (and there's a sentence he found he was surprised to have used), he had the same feeling from when he saw little Gon and Killua- that the man had unbridled potential.

"I'm just here for fun," he had said, voice as unremarkable and casual as though he were saying, "The sky is blue" or "the grass is green".

So the man had come there for similar reasons as Hisoka- interesting. There was more to this man than met the eye and Hisoka was confident that he'd be able to add this man to his list of toys in due time.

Sure enough, when their run through the swamplands had been interrupted because of a woman with the ability to control mosquitoes and a cyborg of all things chasing her, the bald man- Saitama, as he learned- hadn't just defeated the woman.

He had left her a bloody smear against the ground with little more than a casual backhand.

Now if this had been because of his aura, Hisoka wouldn't have been as invested as he was. But Saitama hadn't used aura at all- he hadn't even tensed up! He had swatted that woman aside as though she really was nothing more than a bug with just his physical strength.

"Bugs- they suck," he stated with that casual and dull expression, now wearing a satisfied smile.

The bald man who had been sneered and ridiculed had become the most feared competitor among the other would-be hunters. Though that didn't stop precious little Gon from being amazed at Saitama's abilities or from being intimidated by the man in the slightest. And it certainly didn't stop the cyborg from begging Saitama to become his master much to the other's displeasure.

Hisoka resolved to add this man to his attention as often as he could for the time being- he couldn't miss an opportunity such as this.

* * *

This was a problem.

When he went after Saitama, the bald man was just walking through and looking at different kinds of creatures- he was even fawning over some toad-kittens before it's mother tried to eat him. When Hisoka had approached the man from behind, he had suddenly been hit with a powerful killing intent and a thought slammed into him that he hadn't had in his mind for years now.

Run.

The bald man hadn't changed his expression- if anything, he looked more confused than anything. Could it be that this man wasn't even aware of the sheer power he possessed or what he was capable of?

That was no good- not if he kept being so unaware of what he had. And Hisoka knew that he could make the man realize his potential one way or another- as he had with so many others that he had forgotten their names and faces.

Hisoka waited for Saitama to attack first, but the man hadn't just been completely uninterested- he had left to look at some horned deer and it's fawns, cooing over how cute they were even when it's mother tried to headbutt him.

He tried to wait for another opening to find Saitama but every other time he either walked away/ got distracted while Hisoka was talking or disappeared before he even finished his sentence- he didn't even know what aura was, much less "zetsu" yet Hisoka had to expand more effort than he expected in tracking him down.

All the while, he was becoming more and more excited for when he could corner the other into fighting him. He would though, eventually.

Or else he was going to become annoyed with how long it was taking.

Finally, Hisoka was able to track down Saitama, along with two others and the cyborg from before. When one of the others- a young man with glasses and tie around his neck- had refused to heed his warning and leave and tried to attack him, Hisoka held no qualms in teaching him a lesson.

Hisoka was delighted when little Gon showed up- all to save his friends at the cost of himself. Such a kind, sweet boy.

And then Saitama showed up and accidentally broke Hisoka's arm in two.

"I'm not one to judge people's preferences- but that's seriously disgusting," Saitama stated as he shielded Gon from Hisoka's view, expression legitimately serious.

The killing intent from before was like a passing glance compared to whatever Saitama was emitting now.

Now was a good time to retreat. No shame in pragmatism.

* * *

The exam was over and Hisoka was a hunter. He didn't really care though- he could already go wherever he wished and get money however he wanted to, but the challenge had quenched his boredom. More than anything, he had new opponents to look forward to in the future.

Little Gon and Killua, Saitama.

His right arm creaked ominously- he's have to go see Machi to properly heal. He never felt like the scarce injuries he got ever healed without her technique.

Speaking of which-

Hisoka saw Saitama wave good-bye to Gon, Kurapika and Leorio- he watched as Saitama started to come his way. Hisoka grin couldn't help widening as Saitama stopped right in front of him and he opened his mouth to say something-

"Restraining order," Saitama cut him off with a deadpan, holding up what was clearly an aura-infused sheet right in Hisoka's face.

This wasn't the first time Hisoka had been given one of these- they were always immensely troublesome to deal with. Restraining orders of this nature were especially bothersome as they were designed to keep exactly the amount of distance between the two parties no matter where they may be or even if they didn't know they were in the same area. If the party that was being retrained got too close, the aura would activate and blast them across the planet.

Of course, he could just find a nen master who could break restraining orders- but those who could were few and far between.

"Behave, pervert clown," Saitama told him sternly and Hisoka was in heaven at the chills of fear that went up his back at the incredibly serious look on Saitama's face.

Perhaps he'd use this time to try and train a bit more seriously...

* * *

I CAN EXPLAIN.

NO I CAN'T.

LET ME SUM UP.

I finished Hunter x Hunter a while ago and I'm familiar enough with One Punch Man (I guess?)- of course this pops into my head and I thought, "I might as well get some writing practice in because I have to return eventually."

Now, as for when I post the rewrites for my stories... I'm waiting until Attack on Titan finishes it's story proper before I can think of posting chapters. Not only have the plot bunnies for all three of my stories started breeding ten a day, but I'm dangerously close to getting out of Development Hell for Cybersoldiers and I've been working on a long-range For Want A Nail/Expansion/ Alternate Universe Kung Fu Panda story.

What does this mean?

Well once Attack on Titan concludes, I get my thoughts in order brush up my writing because it's been over a year since I posted anything at all, get Doc Manager to italicize and bold my stuff again because it doesn't right now for whatever reason, get some time off from my job (McDonalds for nearly a year now :D) and STOP PROCRASTINATING DAMMIT-

Then you can expect more from me. Hopefully. I still intend to finish my three main stories and get new ones out as well.


End file.
